Sh-t Around Me

A place to put the strange, offbeat items I run across on almost a daily basis.

Oct 13
funsizebytes: brilliantorange: It’s Thursday when I say it’s Thursday. January Jones for GQ. Every day is Tatas for Tj day. We would have also accepted “Two for Tuesday” Related: I would like that jacket. By which I mean I would like to be that jacket. Now I am just typing so I can keep looking at this. I don’t care who you are, that’s a pretty girl. If you haven’t noticed yet, she has very pretty eyes too. And she looks nothing like Betty Draper :)

funsizebytes:

brilliantorange:

It’s Thursday when I say it’s Thursday.

January Jones for GQ.

Every day is Tatas for Tj day.

We would have also accepted “Two for Tuesday”

Related: I would like that jacket.

By which I mean I would like to be that jacket.

Now I am just typing so I can keep looking at this. I don’t care who you are, that’s a pretty girl.

If you haven’t noticed yet, she has very pretty eyes too.

And she looks nothing like Betty Draper :)
Posted at 6:48pm

via www.shoeboxblog.com Way too true to not post

via www.shoeboxblog.com

Way too true to not post
Posted at 12:58pm

Sep 22

From the Rio Rancho Observer...

I don’t know who’s worse: mother or daughter.

“As a parent of a senior at Rio Rancho High School, I am in shock to have just found out that my daughter and her boyfriend have been having open sex in the hallway during lunch. Apparently there are no cameras or monitors of any kind! As a concerned parent for the safety of my children, I guess I was more focused on weapons being taken to school, drugs being sold to my children and gangs trying to recruit unsuspecting prey. Never would I have ever thought that sex in the hallway could go unnoticed, especially by staff or students.”

Posted at 7:48pm

Jul 29
If the Twitter community was 100 people… (via mkandlez)

If the Twitter community was 100 people… (via mkandlez)
Posted at 5:06pm

Jul 22

What is your favorite iPhone app?

nonlinearmind:

Jailbroken or legit.
Flight Control and Twittelator Pro
Posted at 8:12pm

Jul 21
tfq: Everyone,It’s no secret that I feel no love towards the tfQ investors. They just have no vision of the future, with their talk of content, the Internet, advertising, and a proper business model. Most recently, they’ve threatened to have me removed as president if I don’t “turn the company around” and “turn a profit”. I asked upon what grounds they had to be able to remove me. Apparently, since it is all their money, they are the majority “shareholders”. Well, I went online to find out what a “shareholder” is and what a “stock” is and what “majority” means. It just means that they have more “stocks” in the company than anyone else, so they get to dictate the agenda.But not so fast! I’ve decided that I can continue to run the company by simply having more “stock” than the investors do, and went about running off several hundred copies of stock certificates.Since you all are my loyal non-content readers, I thought I would let you all in on the ground floor by giving you all stock in the company (thereby circumventing the investors claim of “majority shareholder”).To become a shareholder, simply reblog this to your tumblr.As the new majority shareholders, I know that you all have my back whether we “turn a profit “or not, and I promise that you will never see content in this magazine so long as I remain on as your humble leader.Sincerely,NonlinearmindEditor/Publisher/Stock Certificate Reproducer

tfq:

Everyone,

It’s no secret that I feel no love towards the tfQ investors. They just have no vision of the future, with their talk of content, the Internet, advertising, and a proper business model. Most recently, they’ve threatened to have me removed as president if I don’t “turn the company around” and “turn a profit”.

I asked upon what grounds they had to be able to remove me. Apparently, since it is all their money, they are the majority “shareholders”. Well, I went online to find out what a “shareholder” is and what a “stock” is and what “majority” means. It just means that they have more “stocks” in the company than anyone else, so they get to dictate the agenda.

But not so fast! I’ve decided that I can continue to run the company by simply having more “stock” than the investors do, and went about running off several hundred copies of stock certificates.

Since you all are my loyal non-content readers, I thought I would let you all in on the ground floor by giving you all stock in the company (thereby circumventing the investors claim of “majority shareholder”).

To become a shareholder, simply reblog this to your tumblr.

As the new majority shareholders, I know that you all have my back whether we “turn a profit “or not, and I promise that you will never see content in this magazine so long as I remain on as your humble leader.

Sincerely,

Nonlinearmind
Editor/Publisher/Stock Certificate Reproducer
Posted at 8:43pm

Jul 19

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?” The man replied, “Yep, sure do.” Satan asked, “Aren’t you going to run?” “Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

Posted at 5:43am

Jul 18
nonlinearmind: Man, he’s going to regret it when sweat goes into his eyes (because sweat stings). When he has a cold will the snot run out the sides of his nose along with the bottom? Enquiring minds want to know….

nonlinearmind:

Man, he’s going to regret it when sweat goes into his eyes (because sweat stings).

When he has a cold will the snot run out the sides of his nose along with the bottom? Enquiring minds want to know….
Posted at 8:28pm

Jul 12
Truer words have not been spoken often.

Truer words have not been spoken often.
Posted at 3:32pm

Jul 3

Only in America

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.


3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


4. Only in America……do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.


5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.


6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


7. Only in America……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.


8. Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


9. Only in America……do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.


10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Posted at 3:54pm

Page 1 of 10